Michael Ratnett

Q: What were you like at school?

Very unhappy. I thought schools were there to keep me from doing the things I liked best - climbing trees, swimming in rivers and just reading. Nobody ever explained the good side.

Q: What did you want to be when you were a child?

A child forever.

Q: What is your favourite word?

CROCODILE!

Q: What makes you cringe?

Anything with the word, 'celebrity', in it. Oh and tortoises. You can never tell what they are thinking...

Q: What are you afraid of?

Teachers. Always have been, always will be.

Q: What do you do as a hobby?

I collect very old books and play the guitar. I also adopt unwanted and unwell pets and make them happy again. And I love playing football.

Q: What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

Easy. Astronaut.

Q: If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

I have two role-models whom I would love to meet. Leonardo da Vinci and Bender from Futurama. It would be hard to choose between them.

Q: What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve done?

On windy nights I like to put on my metal lobster-suit and sit on a chair in the sea, so that I can listen to the waves crashing around my knees. That might be outrageous, but I do so many things like that I can't really tell.

Q: What is the most interesting place you have ever visited?

My attic. It is crammed with wierd and wonderful inventions.

Q: What has life taught you?

That if you stand on your head too long your face goes red. I hope there is a deep meaning in there somewhere - if not, I have wasted a lot of time on my head.

Q: Where do you do your writing?

Everywhere. I think things up, and then speak them into a little voice-recorder that I carry with me.

Q: What are the best and worst things about being an author?

The best is going out and performing my poems and stories for people. That is HUGE fun. The worst is having to make wrong changes to stories just to get them published.

Q: What was your favourite book as a child?

I never had one favourite book. But I did love anything with Arthur and Lancelot in it. I slew many nettle-patches with my stick-sword.

Q: What advice would you give to aspiring authors?

Try lots of different kinds of writing until you find the one that really suits you. It might not be the kind you expected!